Is someone...

Complaining about the dress style or color you've selected?

          Politely remind them that they have had or will have the opportunity to choose what they want for their wedding.

Repeatedly reminding you how much "your" wedding is costing them?

          With compassion, give them the option to participate in a way less costly.

Dragging their feet on ordering their dress or tuxedo?

          When someone is holding up the show there's usually a reason be it financial or procrastination. What ever it is they need to know that there are deadlines for a reason. If they pass that deadline there are consequences. Late fees, rush shipping or you may need to choose to find them a replacement and/or another way to participate.

Bickering over who is or isn't doing or paying their fair share for your bridal shower?

          For Pete's sake! You shouldn't even be informed of such nonsense. I guess it's hard for some people to be humble.

Not liking who they're walking down the isle with?

          You have two options change walking partners or let it go in one ear and out the other.

Pointing out the negative aspect in every situation?

          Find something positive in their every negative and nicely respond as such.

Trying to help you plan the wedding of "their" dreams?

          Most of the time they really are just trying to be helpful. Take it for what its worth, say thanks for the suggestion and continue planning the wedding of "your" dreams.

Complaining about your future spouse and their habits?

          Politely remind them that "they" are not marrying "your" spouse.

Having a conflict with an ex-spouse or other guest who is also invited to "your" wedding?

          They need to set their differences aside for one day. If they can't then they shouldn't attend. They most certainly shouldn't be dredging you though all of their nonsense.

Puts you down for everything you do and talks behind your back?

          This is so not acceptable. With friends and family like that who needs enemies?

Not talking to you, not returning your calls or emails and/or not participating in the prenuptial festivities?

          This warrants one question and one decision - Do they really want to be in the wedding? If you can't count on them you may need to find a replacement sooner rather than later.

Ten Tips to Ponder

1. Don't own it! No one can ruin your day unless you let them.

2. Communication goes a long way - They may not even realize they're hurting, irritating or offending you.

3. Use common sense for each situation - Pick and choose your battles.

4. Deal with each and every issue as they occur "before" the day of your wedding.

5. Treat every situation with the compassion you'd want to be treated with - Make decisions you can live with not only in the moment but years to come.

6. Deal with the situation and move on - Forgive and forget.

7. If you choose not to address the situation, you give up the right to complain.

8. Know that who ever it is that's being naughty always has the option to choose not to participate in "your" wedding.

9. There's a solution to every situation.

10. A wedding is to be celebrated and shared with those who love you so why would you allow anyone to take the fun and joy out of planning "your" wedding?

This isn't an open invitation for the title "bride-zilla"! You can be gracious, compassionate and tactful while expressing your wishes.

Barb Krousey's Definition of a "Bride-zilla"