Getting engaged is so exiting in and of itself but more so if done in a creative romantic way. I've always thought it romantic for the guy to ask his girlfriend's father for his blessing before he actually pops the question.

I was once asked if it was politically correct for the girl to ask the guy for his hand in marriage and my answer was YES! As untraditional as it is, it has been done. It brought me to wonder though... who would buy the engagement ring?... would she buy one for herself or for him??

For those of you not yet engaged, think of one thing that the two of you has in common and run with it. I've heard of brides finding their ring in a pack of "unopened?" M&Ms and another found her ring attached to the hook on her fishing pole, now that's creative and romantic, given the fact that they "both" had a passion for fishing. The possibilities are endless. So be creative.

Once you've accepted the proposal your life suddenly revolves around planning a wedding.

A good place to start is to go to your local Bridal Shows which are plentiful and mostly scheduled within the first three months of the year and then again in the fall. Where else could you go to visit an abundance of wedding service providers under one roof?

You will find that bridal shows offer a wealth of information that will ultimately prepare you for your journey through the world of wedding planning. They are a fun and exciting experience that offer the perfect opportunity to share wedding planning with your fiancé and/or parents.

Be sure to ask questions, take notes and by all means sign up for all the drawings, who knows, you may be a winner?

Unless you know for sure that you want to hire a wedding service provider I always advise that you make your decision under less pressure. When you get home read through the information you've collected and then take the time to visit them at their retail location.

Wear comfortable shoes, bring address labels for the drawings and have fun shopping!

Shopping for your bridal gown is FREE! Have fun with it, try on everything, take photos when possible and by all means, take your time in making a decision, shop around and ALWAYS ask questions.

By trying on every style, you are less likely to get discouraged and you will soon find the style and color that works best with your body type and skin tone. More often than not brides find that although they went shopping with a specific style in mind, they chose something completely different. It seems to be that when we set out desperately looking for something, we experience difficulty finding what it is we are searching for, yet when we let it come to us we are seldom disappointed. You will have a far greater experience if you shop with and open mind and without expectations and you "will know" when you've found the perfect dress.

It's sometimes difficult to resist the temptation of making a spontaneous decision when you're in the excitement of things. I encourage you make your final decision only after you've given it some time and thought. A new day is always refreshing in making any decision.

When ever possible take photos, look them over, return to the store(s) to try your favorites on one more time and then make your decision. All too many times over the years I've heard brides comment that if they had seen themselves in a photo before selecting their dress they would have chosen something different.

There comes a time however when a decision does needs to be made and the dress needs to get ordered. Most bridal stores have a time line they like to work with so be sure to inquire what that might be.

I recommend ordering your bridal gown no less than 6 months before the date of the wedding. However, I also advise that as soon as you've made your decision, order the dress. One never knows if and when a dress will become discontinued and at that point you may be faced with starting your dress search all over. Unfortunately bridal stores never know when a dress will become discontinued until they've received notice from the manufacturer. Most manufacturers clean out their closets at least once but no more than twice annually.

Ultimately it will be you wearing the dress, not the sales person, your family or friends. So here are 3 things to consider before making your decision:

1) Is the dress within your budget?

2) Do you feel confident in the store you are working with?

3) And last but not least, can you honestly say without a doubt, "This is the dress!"?

Is someone...

Complaining about the dress style or color you've selected?

          Politely remind them that they have had or will have the opportunity to choose what they want for their wedding.

Repeatedly reminding you how much "your" wedding is costing them?

          With compassion, give them the option to participate in a way less costly.

Dragging their feet on ordering their dress or tuxedo?

          When someone is holding up the show there's usually a reason be it financial or procrastination. What ever it is they need to know that there are deadlines for a reason. If they pass that deadline there are consequences. Late fees, rush shipping or you may need to choose to find them a replacement and/or another way to participate.

Bickering over who is or isn't doing or paying their fair share for your bridal shower?

          For Pete's sake! You shouldn't even be informed of such nonsense. I guess it's hard for some people to be humble.

Not liking who they're walking down the isle with?

          You have two options change walking partners or let it go in one ear and out the other.

Pointing out the negative aspect in every situation?

          Find something positive in their every negative and nicely respond as such.

Trying to help you plan the wedding of "their" dreams?

          Most of the time they really are just trying to be helpful. Take it for what its worth, say thanks for the suggestion and continue planning the wedding of "your" dreams.

Complaining about your future spouse and their habits?

          Politely remind them that "they" are not marrying "your" spouse.

Having a conflict with an ex-spouse or other guest who is also invited to "your" wedding?

          They need to set their differences aside for one day. If they can't then they shouldn't attend. They most certainly shouldn't be dredging you though all of their nonsense.

Puts you down for everything you do and talks behind your back?

          This is so not acceptable. With friends and family like that who needs enemies?

Not talking to you, not returning your calls or emails and/or not participating in the prenuptial festivities?

          This warrants one question and one decision - Do they really want to be in the wedding? If you can't count on them you may need to find a replacement sooner rather than later.

Ten Tips to Ponder

1. Don't own it! No one can ruin your day unless you let them.

2. Communication goes a long way - They may not even realize they're hurting, irritating or offending you.

3. Use common sense for each situation - Pick and choose your battles.

4. Deal with each and every issue as they occur "before" the day of your wedding.

5. Treat every situation with the compassion you'd want to be treated with - Make decisions you can live with not only in the moment but years to come.

6. Deal with the situation and move on - Forgive and forget.

7. If you choose not to address the situation, you give up the right to complain.

8. Know that who ever it is that's being naughty always has the option to choose not to participate in "your" wedding.

9. There's a solution to every situation.

10. A wedding is to be celebrated and shared with those who love you so why would you allow anyone to take the fun and joy out of planning "your" wedding?

This isn't an open invitation for the title "bride-zilla"! You can be gracious, compassionate and tactful while expressing your wishes.

Barb Krousey's Definition of a "Bride-zilla"

As much as you need finances to pull off a wedding, it is possible to do so within your financial means.

Take the time to ask yourself...

1) Why am I getting married?

• a) I've found my soul mate
• b) I strive for the attention
• c) I need to furnish my new house

2) What do I plan to gain from my wedding day?

• a) A life long journey with the one I love
• b) The party
• c) The gifts

3) What am I looking forward to the most on my wedding day?

• a) The moment we say "I do"
• b) The reception
• c) The honeymoon

If you answered "a" for all 3 questions you're getting married for the right reasons. A small intimate ceremony and celebration within your budget is all you need.

Don't get me wrong, everyone deserves the day of their dreams but if it's financially out of reach, you're setting yourself up for stress which ultimately leads to an unhappy experience. The only overwhelming feeling you should experience on your wedding day is the love you feel for each other.

Establish a solid budget and work with it! Plan ahead! Pay as you plan!

As a business owner, I personally would prefer to know that my customers are making choices and purchases they can live with financially rather than have them choose not to get married because they feel they can't afford it. A little bit is always better than nothing at all.

Before making any purchasing decisions, make it a habit of asking yourselves...

"Is this a necessity?"

"Do I really need this to make my wedding day complete?"

Here are a few suggestions I commonly make for keeping a wedding budget in balance.

Bridal Gown

          There are many dresses that are of designer quality at affordable prices

          Most every bridal store has a sale rack

          Watch for promotions

          Make payments, most places only require a deposit to place an order and you have until the dress arrives to pay off the balance.

Wedding Party

          There are several inexpensive bridesmaid dresses available and they usually have the option to pay a      deposit to get them ordered.

          In most cases the groom's tuxedo is free. If you're concerned about cost for the rest of your wedding party, choose a tux package that's affordable.

Cut back on attendants, you're only required to have 2 witnesses. With that said the maid of honor could easily find a dress off the rack and the groom and best man has the option to purchase a nice suit.

          If you're faced with the dilemma of having a large family and many friends all of whom you'd planned to take part in your wedding, consider making them honorary attendants and list them in the church program as such. Who knows, they may be grateful not to have the expense.

Ceremony and Celebration

          You're standing at the altar with your floral bouquet in hand, significant other at your side and witnesses, what more do you need?

          Cut back on your guest list. Send invitations to your immediate family and closest friends and after the wedding send an announcement to others you may have invited.

          Years ago the reception consisted of a pot luck meal in the church basement.

Floral and Decorations

          Keep it simple, less is always best.

    Ask reliable family and friends to take care of the decorating.

          Resource and recycle, if you know someone who purchased decorations for their wedding and they have them in boxes collecting dust, ask to borrow them. Everything can be personalized.

Photos and Videos

          Everyone needs photos and a video is a wonderful way to see what you may have missed, but do you really need to buy the largest package?

Always know that every situation has a solution, every budget can be balanced and every wedding is ultimately what you make of it.

The Perfect Wedding - Knowing you're starting the rest of your life with the one you love and that you have family and friends there to support you and share in your joy

Over the past 14 years I've heard many myths, tails and half truths. Every once in a while I hear one that brings tears from laughter.

Just the other day a customer commented that a bridal store told her, "She needed to get her bridesmaid dresses ordered now for her wedding next summer because all the factories in China were closing for 3 months due to the Olympics".

Bust - Why would these factories lose all that money for the Olympics?

And the list goes on...

Myth - You should only wear white if you are pure.

Bust - Choosing not to wear white only means that ivory or diamond white looks better with you skin tone.

Myth - You should wear long sleeved turtle neck bridal gowns after Halloween.

Bust - First of all, good luck finding a dress like that and second, gloves and shawls are much more convenient.

Myth - You should order dresses at least 18 months before your wedding.

Bust - On average 6 months is plenty of time depending on the manufacturer. I recommend 6 months to a year for peace of mind.

Myth - You should order your dress one size bigger than you measure.

Bust - Absolutely not! You'll have an alteration nightmare.

Myth - If you're expecting a baby you should order a dress size to fit the belly.

Bust - Again not only are you looking at an alteration nightmare, who knows how big the belly will be? Order the size relative to your bust measurement at the time of ordering. If it's early in your pregnancy, order one size bigger than your bust. Either way, order fabric, have panels re-cut and/or empire the waist and let out the seams.

Myth - The style of bridesmaid dress should match the bridal gown.

Bust - Only if you want them to match. You can drive yourself crazy trying to match everything. Choose a dress style that compliments the bridal gown as well as the sizes and shapes of your wedding party.

Myth - The mother of the groom should wear beige and keep quiet.

Bust - Beige does not look good on everyone and it's much more polite to graciously listen. The color of either mother's dress should complement the primary color chosen for the wedding.

Myth - Etiquette is imperative in planning a wedding.

Bust - I believe if you're concerned with planning an etiquette wedding you should do it 100%. In most cases, if you're going to do it right, etiquette usually requires a substantial budget. My thoughts are, "If it's legal, moral and fits in your budget, go for it."

What can I say? I guess there's always going to be something one wonders about.

All said and done it's all about common sense. If it doesn't sound right it probably isn't right. Always ask questions!

And last but not least, plan the wedding of "your" dreams! If it's not hurtful or offensive own it, personalize it, and create the day "you" will always treasure. Make decisions mindful of the future, make decisions today that you know you can live with tomorrow.

Preparing a guest list should be done in the beginning stages of planning your wedding. I recommend that the bride, groom and their parents independently make a list of the friends and family they wish to invite. Take the time to organize and enter the information in a spreadsheet to include complete addresses. Sort by last name, eliminate the doubles and you have a good solid guest list that has many purposes. It will be a great source for showers, addressing the invitations, tracking your guests, sending thank you cards and future family weddings or other events.

Its first purpose will be to get an accurate count. The majority of your budget is spent on the celebration, therefore it is important you do the math before you order and send out your invitations. However difficult it may be, if you're tied to a strict budget you may need to cut back on your list.

Some families choose to personalize their invitation by making them. Ordering a printed invitation is more common. Either way the basics still apply.

To save expenses have as much information as possible printed on the invitation itself. The location of your reception, dinner and dance for example can be neatly included after the ceremony information.

The respond card or RSVP is a must. Not knowing how many guests to expect is an invitation for disaster. You could either end up with too much food which in most cases you will be paying for and taking home with you or worse yet you'll not have enough. Serving your guests bar pizza is not a good thing.

A common question asked is if it's proper etiquette to print labels for your invitations. It is proper etiquette to hand write both the inner and outer envelopes but we are also in the 21 century with busy lives and computers. I would run each outer envelope through the printer and hand write the names of each family member on the inner envelope. You should do what works best for you.

I recommend sending invitations no less than 6 weeks before the date of your wedding and have your guests reply 2 weeks prior. Before purchasing your postage, be sure to put a complete invitation together, bring it to the post office for weighing and then purchase your postage. Don't forget postage for your RSVP's.

Once the RSVP date has passed, thoroughly go through your list. If there are several who did not respond it is okay to give them a call. You may know just by looking at the list if they are attending or not. Most reception hall vendors and caterers have a formula they work with and are in most cases very accurate.

Save the date cards are great if you know there's a lot going on within the family the year you plan to tie the knot but are otherwise not necessary.

There are many types of programs to choose from. You can print them yourself. Typically a program is used to see who is in the wedding, what's next in the service and for fans if it's warm. I recommend printing one for every 2 people invited.

I can't stress enough how important it is to send out thank you cards. Shower thank you cards should be sent before the date of your wedding and wedding thank you cards should be sent no later than 6 months.

The bride finally gets her groom to go with her to pick out "his" tuxedos.

Groom: "What do you like?"

Bride: "What ever you want dear."

Groom: "I like this one"

Bride: "Do you, really?"

Groom: "Don't you?"

Bride: "Well, I like this one better."

Groom: "Okay, let's go with that one then."

Bride: "Are you sure?"

Groom: "What ever you want dear."

And they say the groom has it easy, all they have to do is pick out a tuxedo.

Choosing styles and getting measured for a tuxedo is one of the least complicated tasks in the world of weddings. The tuxedo, shirt, vest and tie should merely compliment the attire of the ladies.

Typically you want to have your tuxedo chosen and everyone measured so your order can be place at least one month before your wedding date. The tuxedos are, in most cases, not in the basement of the store you ordered them from. The store receives the tuxedos for your wedding party from a wholesaler the week of the wedding, usually towards the end of the week. They are rented to someone else the week before and then again the week after your wedding which is why they need to be returned within a day or two after your wedding. Every tuxedo vendor is different so be sure to inquire about their ordering, measuring, pick up and return policies.

You will first need to choose a tuxedo coat and color. Believe it or not there are color options for the tuxedo itself. For the most part black, brown, pinstripe and white are among the most common choices, black still in the lead for the most popular choice. Most tuxedos now are constructed with a lighter weight fabric which is a great benefit for those hot summer weddings. Everyone typically sports the same tuxedo style and a button up coat is by far more commonly chosen than a tail coat. Did you know you can even choose a trouser without the black satin stripe down the pant leg?

The new shirt of choice is made of a micro-fiber fabric which is much cooler than the old cotton pleated shirts of days gone by. These shirts are also available in several color options.

The vest and tie options are unlimited making the task of distinguishing the groom from the wedding party very easy. The groom usually wears a white or ivory vest and tie, the groomsmen and ushers are dressed in a color complimentary to the bridesmaids' dress color and the fathers typically wear a neutral color complimentary to the mother's attire. If you keep an open mind and consider colors that compliment rather than match perfect, you'll avoid driving yourself crazy. Long ties are much more common than the bow tie and the options for color and style are greater. Mix it up guys, make it fun. (As long as it's been given the approval of the other "dear").

It used to be that the shoes were the curse of the tux, everyone dreaded wearing the shoes. That's all changed guys, the shoes have not only been reformed to being more stylish but more comfortable.

The pocket square is a nice way to class things up and add color. A pocket square will also eliminate the need for a boutonnière. What guy wouldn't prefer a pocket square over a flower?

Once you've chosen the attire for the guys it's time for everyone to get measured. It's imperative that the measuring is done professionally. If someone from your wedding party is out of the area they should be measured professionally near their home and get the measurements to you or the store that you are renting your tuxedos from.

You may need to gently remind the guys several times. For some reason when it comes to getting measured the guys procrastinate terribly. I think they think it's going to take hours, or hurt, or something. Just assure them that it's quick and painless.

You'll be notified when your tuxedos are ready for pick up. I can't stress enough how important it is that everyone try their tuxedo on, at the store, as soon as they can get there. If they wait until the day of the wedding there isn't much that can be done. Although they were measured professionally situations occur that may require professional attention. Remember, the store employees and employees packing and shipping your tuxedos are human. No one ever intentionally makes mistakes; in fact, a perfect world for those of us in the world of weddings is that everything works out perfectly. Besides the fact that human error is embarrassing and causes an unwanted inconvenience to our customers, it usually results in costing us money. Bottom line: If we don't know we can't fix it and there's a solution for every situation along as it's addressed before the day of the wedding.

Thumbs up to all you guys out there getting ready to choose your tuxedos. I would like to pay tribute to the groom who chooses to go tuxedo shopping without the bride, however, the bride usually at some point will check up on your selections and sometimes it's a good thing they did.

To sum things up, choosing the perfect tuxedo for your wedding is as easy as saying, "Whatever you want dear."

The Fit of a Tuxedo - Thing to Know

Tuxedo rentals are just that, rentals.

They are designed to fit everyone and are not a custom fit.

The bigger the neck size of the shirt needs to be, the bigger the body size will be.

The bigger the body size needs to be, the bigger the neck size will be.

Fitting the coat to accommodate the waist may result in a roomier fit in the shoulders.

Fitting the coat to accommodate the shoulders may result in a roomier fit in the waist.

The appropriate sleeve length for the coat is anywhere between the top of the hand and the first knuckle of the thumb.

The appropriate pant length is anywhere between the top of the shoe and the top of the sole of the shoe.

Tuxedo trousers are worn at the waist not on the hip. A bigger waist usually requires suspenders.

Remember the more you know what to expect the less stress you will endure, so bare with me.

As soon as you're notified that your dress has arrived at the store you should make arrangements to try the dress on, at the store. Always have a bra on even if it's your everyday bra.

It's not often that a dress fits perfect. Straps and halter adjustments as well as a hem are almost always a given. Our bodies are not perfect according to the manufacturer size charts so a tuck here and a let out there are very common.

Length of dress - Rule of thumb for full length dresses is that the dress be just touching the floor to 1 inch off the floor. T-length dresses typically don't require a hem. A common question regarding a T-length dress is, "Does it matter that some girls are taller than others?" It's a personal preference. I've seen wedding photos of bridesmaids with T-length dresses not hemmed to a specific length (i.e. all 12 inches off the floor) and everyone looked great.

Straps or no straps - Even if you choose for the most part not to have straps on your dress I think it's a good idea to have them sewn in for the reception. Tuck them in so if and when you choose to wear them they're ready to go. Like any garment, from body heat and movement, your dress is bound to get somewhat roomy by the end of the day.

Undergarments - It's most important that you provide support for the "girls". If they aren't doing their job however assisted, you'll have problems. I recommend a good strapless push-up bra that fits. It has to be tight in order to do what it's supposed to do. Cups can be put in most dresses which I do not recommend for anything above a "C" cup. If you feel you need to smooth things out in the midriff area get something made of lycra (swim suit type fabric). It should extend over your hips or it may roll. Stay away from the padded full length bustier, they're uncomfortable and just add bulk.

Bustle - What is a bustle? A bustle is put in a bridal gown to pin up the train and allow you to move freely after the ceremony. This usually consists of 3-7 hooks and loops or ribbon ties. The standard bustle is one that is put up on the outside of the dress placing all the excess fabric on the caboose. The french bustle or under bustle is a much more functional bustle, much easier to put up and less apt to come undone. I always tell the brides there's no guarantee on the bustle. We basically put a bustle in so you know where to pin it after someone steps on it and rips it out.

Crinoline - A crinoline or can-can (tulle half slip) is used to poof out the bottom of the dress to show off the detail in a bridal gown. It has also been known to be used as a tool for shortening the dress. Not every dress needs a crinoline and not every bride wants to wear one. I recommend using the hoop. It remains consistent morning to night and doesn't stick to your legs; in fact it's rather breezy.  A can-can tends to lose it's consistency by the end of the day due to body heat and humidity which in turn will lengthen your dress.

Shoes - Go for comfort! Remember you're going to be in them a whole day and if you change into slippers for the dance your dress will probably be too long. Wear the shoes for long periods of time prior to your wedding day. Break them in with damp socks while doing dishes, vacuuming or any other not too physical house chores.

Common Scenarios

Your dress is a bit snug and you just can't quite get it zipped all the way - "Get the girls up" while zipping, it makes a world of difference. Take the bra off once it's zipped it might be adding more than you need. If this is the case and you feel comfortable not wearing a bra you will need to get dressed with the bra and take it off once it's zipped the day of the wedding.

Your dress is a bit too big in the bust - A push up strapless works wonders. Cups work well for someone who needs just a little extra in the "girls" department. I've found that some of my customers need both the bra and the cups. Last but not least, add straps.

Your dress fits great in the bust but snug in the rib cage, waist and/or hip area - Most dresses have plenty of extra side seam allowance and can be let out. As long as you were able to zip the dress you usually only need ½ to 1 inch let out for comfort.

You're going to have a baby and you may or may not know this when ordering your dress - I recommend ordering no more than one size bigger than your bust at the time of ordering your dress. Order extra fabric and lining to be used to re-cut complete panels rather than putting in a gusset (an inserted piece of fabric). You may need to empire the bodice depending on the style of dress. If you order a dress to fit your belly you'll have major problems with the bodice and the dress still might not be big enough to go around the midriff area. Always check with your seamstress to see what they prefer.

Worst Case Scenarios

Your dress has arrived and it's ridiculously too big or too small, what do you do? First and foremost don't panic, you will have a dress for the wedding. Second and just as important whenever possible try the dress on at the store you purchased it from. If you took the dress home you will need to contact the store you ordered your dress from and make arrangements to have someone who knows what they are doing help you, preferably the owner and/or an in-house seamstress. Without physically seeing the dress on you, no one can properly assess the situation.

You'll need to be re-measured at the store you purchased your dress from to see if there's been a weight loss or gain. If your measurements are the same you should try on the sample that you tried on when ordering the dress. If the sample still fits it's safe to say that the dress you received was miss-sized at the manufacturers. This does not happen often but it does happen. Time permitting a new dress should be ordered for you and you'll be back on track. If there's not enough time to re-order, the store should correct the error by having the dress altered to fit.

So if you lost weight congrats and if you gained you're still beautiful. Regardless, if there's a will there's always a way. In all the years I've been in the world of weddings I have yet to have a wedding without dresses.

Through out the whole process of planning your wedding, remember we are all human and unless nothing is done to correct the situation it's best to trust that things will work out. Trust me, things always work out!

Check with your seamstress to see when you should start alterations. Typically it's 6-8 weeks for bridal and 4-6 weeks for all other. Again check with your seamstress and at least let them know you may be in need of their services.

As unsettling as this is let me assure you that things will work out and although recovering your loss is very important your wedding is more important. Please don't let this ruin your day!

The first thing you want to do is file a claim with the authorities i.e. police department and county attorney's office. Make copies of all your receipts and gather all your information so it's readily available.

Next you'll want to call your credit card and debit card provider and get the charges reversed on your card. You will need details such as dates, amounts etc.

Contact other bridal stores for help in finding out if your dresses have been ordered or if you need to start over. Sometimes but less likely the manufacturers may give you some info. They will not ship dresses to you personally but some will ship to an authorized retailer.

Unfortunately you will have to repay for the dress(s) to get them, but at least you will get them.

Continue planning your wedding and only let this be a bump in the road. Deal with the bridal store with all the strength and courage you can muster up. As devastating and horrible as this is focus on the reason you ordered the dresses in the first place. You're wedding day! Let this be the story you will tell your granddaughter one day, and when she asks what happened next you can say; "We got married!"